There’s a version of the Serenity Prayer that most HR professionals understand — not because they’ve memorized it, but because they live it, and even if they can’t articulate it, they whisper a version of it as they fire up their computers each morning: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
In twenty-plus years of advising employers, I’ve watched smart, capable HR professionals and managers spend enormous amounts of time, energy, and emotional capital trying to change the things they cannot change. Specifically: trying to fix a small percentage of employees who are, for all practical purposes, unfixable.
I call the unfixable the 5%’ers. You already know who they are.
They’re the ones generating the lion’s share of your complaints, your documentation, your difficult conversations, and your legal exposure. They’re the ones who have an excuse for everything and accountability for nothing. Their timing is terrible and their disposition is off-putting. They’re the ones who would make your day/month/quarter/year by quitting.
A small fraction of your workforce consumes a wildly disproportionate share of your time and resources. This isn’t controversial. Every manager reading this is nodding.
Here’s what is controversial: most organizations are managing to the 5% instead of for the 95%.
Think about where your energy actually goes. The performance improvement plans, the documented counseling sessions, the accommodation reviews, the manager conferences, the handwringing, the frustration, the post-termination claims — most of it traces back to a handful of people. That’s not a coincidence. It’s a pattern. And it’s costing you more than you think, not just in legal fees and management time, but in something harder to measure: the experience of your best people.
Because while you’re focused on the 5%, your 95% is watching.
Your performers — and not even your highest performers, just the people who show up, take ownership, deliver results, and make your organization function — are doing the math. They’re watching you absorb bad behavior, extend more chances than anyone has earned, and invest organizational resources in the employees least likely to benefit from them. And they’re drawing conclusions about whether yours is a place worth staying.
The way we treat our problem employees is also a statement about how we value our good ones.
When you accept — genuinely accept — that some problems cannot be coached, counseled, or trained away, something useful happens. You stop spending your resources on a losing proposition and start making better decisions about where those resources could actually do some good. You invest in your managers’ development instead of damage control. You build recognition programs instead of response protocols. You have honest, growth-oriented conversations with employees who want them instead of circular conversations with employees who don’t.
Don’t mistake this for a license for indifference or permission to wave off non-performance as something we just have to tolerate. Consider it a greenlight to lean into what you already, and intuitively, know. It’s permission to act on what you already know is true.
Every hour a manager spends managing a 5%’er is an hour not spent developing a high-potential employee, recognizing consistent and steady contributors, or solving the systemic issues that limit your best people. The opportunity cost is real. Organizations that get this right make decisions faster. They have harder conversations earlier. They build cultures where good performers stay, because the message is clear: we protect the people who do the work.
The Serenity Prayer has survived centuries because it works. Accepting what we cannot change isn’t resignation — it’s precision. It’s the act of stopping the futile investment in the unfixable so we can make meaningful investments in the things and people that will actually respond.
Your 95% is doing what they’re supposed to do. They’re showing up, doing their job, and trusting that the organization — that you — will honor their effort.
So the question isn’t whether you can fix the 5%. I think you should be asking how long the 95% will wait while you keep trying.
Todd Stanton’s bestselling The 95% Rule: 29 Employment Law Axioms for Owners, Execs, and HR is available on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble.
One more thing: nothing in this article is legal advice for your specific situation. It’s general thinking from someone who’s seen a lot of employment law stories unfold and has developed a strong knack for knowing how they’re going to end. When you have a real problem — and eventually you will — call a qualified employment lawyer. The cost of a good one is a fraction of what it costs to find out the hard way that you should have called sooner.